54 days.....part 3

The phone call i received wasn't one I ever wanted.  I'm gonna cut a long story short with this as to this day it still riles me with anger.  I got told my position in SLC was no longer there and I had one of 2 options.  1.  Stay in SLC and not get paid or 2. Go to Cincinnati for 8 weeks.  This was my only choice to get paid was to go 1600 miles away.  Going here wasn't the problem for me, it was realising I'd be leaving Michelle for 8 weeks this fall.  We had a very deep discussion about things and we decided I should go as we needed the money.  Again, I'm going to fast forward a few weeks as the next part of this story is private.

I finished my summer work in Utah and got to spend 2 wonderful weeks with Michelle, helping her as she started in her new school, she can tell you how much of a help I was :-)  the 2 weeks came and gone and before we knew it, it was Saturday night.  Why is this significant?  Because Sunday I was leaving for Cincinnati.  I've never been so heart broken in my life when Sunday morning came around (the tears are starting as I type this) I didn't want to go, I didn't want to leave Michelle at all but we decided I had to.  The drive to the airport was very quiet, we never talked as we were both too emotional to speak, I knew if i spoke I'd break down with emotion.  I've never hugged someone so much in my life outside SLC airport as I that morning with Michelle.  Realisation sank in that when I walked through that door and Michelle drove away I wouldn't get to see her again until the 29th October and that pained me so much.

Never have I been so alone in a new place, I feel like an outcast and I've been very private in keeping to myself the first few days I've been here.  Tuesday I actually broke down when I fully realised I had  another 56 days here and even today I've not gotten any better.  I almost started crying on the coaching field Wednesday night as all I could think about was Michelle.  I'm not an overly emotional person but my word, these past few days I've cried alone in my room enough to fill a bathtub full of tears.  What makes things worse is I promised Michelle I wouldn't come here if I was coaching the ages of 4-6 yrs old, if I can't do that in SLC I'm not doing it 1600 miles away.  It gets to Monday and I see my schedule....the main ages I'm working with are 4-8 yrs old.  I feel cheated, I feel conned, I feel betrayed and more importantly I feel like I've let Michelle down.  I'm disappointed that my time with this company is ending like this, I'll never forgive the man responsible for sending me here and taking me out of SLC and away from Michelle for this length of time, some things are forgivable but this is something I can never forgive.  Today is Thursday, today is 54 days till I get to see Michelle again.  I have no doubt these next 54 days will be tough on myself, I need to keep telling myself it'll go quickly and before I know it I'll get to see Michelle again and finally get to begin our lives together as all it's felt like lately is stop-start-stop-start.  I can only hope 29th October decides to come round very quickly.

Michelle, I love you with all my heart and I miss you like crazy.  54 days.....