53 days.....

I promise I'm not going to be one of those bloggers who post every single day but I found that doing the blog yesterday made me feel so much better, well as better as I can be I guess so I'm posting one today to keep my mind at ease.

This week has been so tough on me emotionally I wonder how I've coped and managed to get by but then I figured it out yesterday.  Michelle is my rock, my best friend and without her this week I'd have never of managed this week (special thanks to my sister too for her help) The sound of the text message coming through puts a smile on my face and a positive outlook and the evening skype session, where I can see and actually speak to Michelle makes my days go fast and certainly something enjoyable to look forward to.  Michelle has been much more stronger than I have been this week and I take inspiration from that.  What I'm struggle with is with this:  I feel upset, lonely, I really have no one to turn to, no familiar face where I am that I can go to and talk to, hang out with even.  I mentioned it in my other post that I feel like an outcast and I honestly do but I guess I'm allowing myself to feel like that.  I have no doubt that when the 2nd week comes around I'll be more settled and more to the fact that I have to do this, not just for me or Michelle but for the both of us combined.  I am here because I love Michelle so much and this is for both of us, when that day comes on the 29th October I'll be able to see Michelle again, hold Michelle again, cuddle Michelle again and more importantly be with Michelle again cause our relationship, as strong as it's been really has been stop-start and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  Michelle.....the Chineese buffet is on me ;-)

Today is Friday 6th September, a very important day for me and Michelle and it really does pain me that I can't spend this certain day with her, on a day like today, for us we shouldn't be apart but work situation tells us otherwise.  I can't wait for the day when this work is over and no longer pulls us apart from each other cause it's been tough but we have and will manage through this for the greater good.

Today makes it 53 days left here before I go back where I belong and I look forward to that day every day.  I really wish I had a spare $450 to fly Michelle out even for a weekend so it breaks up the time apart but financially neither of us can afford that luxury.  My evening work makes the days go fast and I really need to pre-occupy myself during the day to make it go even faster.

I believe 100% my time here will begin to go fast, Michelle believes it, others believe it and I'm now happy to say I believe it too.